Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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