You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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