woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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