Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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