I must be too annoying 4 u.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize