well I can't set my house on fire every night
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
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