you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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