Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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