I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize