I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize