names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize