They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize