life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize