Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize