If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
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I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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