dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
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I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
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Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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