i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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