I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Randomize