im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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