it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
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Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
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Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
sex in a hospital.. check
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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