I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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