yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
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I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
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I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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