Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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