I want you more than these girls want KFC
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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