**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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