Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
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You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
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If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
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