i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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