Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize