halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
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