ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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