In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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