Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
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drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
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You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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