My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
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