there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
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It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
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Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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