I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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