You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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