You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
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