I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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