we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
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It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
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