he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
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There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
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I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
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