i will never coherently bang her
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize