also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
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