tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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