definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize