Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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