Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize