Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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