if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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