I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
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I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
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It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
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