you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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